Roxas and Axel deliver a pizza
by LollipopPizza
Summary: The title speaks fo itself  Roxas and Axel go on the crazy adventrue of delivering a pizza! No pairings or OCs and is rated T because of Cid...though it's not that bad...Oh well  Enjoy!


The-FCI-Prez: Man I've been gone awhile xD. Anyway this story was co-written with Ore-sama! My bestest buddy!

Now for the Disclaimer! I do NOT own Kingdom Hearts or Final Fantasy the are property of Square Enix! I also do not own Spongebob (Which this fic is based off the episode "Pizza Delivery" So we DO NOT own the plot 8D)! Some parts where changed to fit the characters and so it took place on land 8D

Warning! Rated T because of Cid. Roxas will be a bit OOC and Axel will seem like some crawled up his a$$ and died...just sayin

Enjoy!~

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It was closing time at Xemnes' run down fast food restaurant. Xemnes was currently in his office counting today's profits. Demyx was in the back washing dishes while Larxene was mopping the floor and Roxas wiped down the tables. Axel stood behind the register flipping through an old magazine.

That's when the phone rang. "Oh I got it!" Roxas cheered running to the phone but tripped as Axel picked up the phone. "Hello?" he answered and paused. "Sorry sir but we're-" "Thank you for calling The Kingdom Hearts how may I serve you?" Xemnes interrupted taking the phone from Axel. "A pizza you say? Of Course! Yes we deliver and it'll be there in thirty minuets." Xemnes hung up.

"But sir we don't make pizza!" Axel objected not wanting to deal with business 3 minuets to closing time. Xemnes snapped his fingers and Zexion handed him a pizza. "We don't deliver!"

"We don't deliver but as the leader of this organization what I say goes." Xemnes handed him the pizza. "But what about Larx-" "No." "Zexion?" Zexion left through the front door. "Saix?" "I'm second in command I have no time for it." "Demyx?" "Sure Axel I'll do it!" Demyx smiled saluting but he left go of a stack of dishes and they crash into a billion pieces on the ground. "oops...sorry Axel I'll have to pass."

Axel scanned the room and stopped when he spotted. "Roxas!" "Great idea Axel. Take him with you." said Saix and he left. "That's not what I meant!" Axel shouted. "Cool Axel we get a mission together!" Roxas smiled. "Yeah...come on let's hurry this up so I can get on with my life." Axel sighed as the two headed into the parking lot.

"Front end. Check. Antenna. Check. Bumper. Check. Bumper sticker. Check." Roxas was going through a check list making sure everything was in order. "Tire pressure" -Roxas kicked the wheel. Which hurt.- "check. Man Axel we're really making history here aren't we our customer is going to get the first official Kingdom Hearts pizza ever!"

"What ever...and since you got me into this you're going to drive." said Axel hopping into the passenger seat. "But Axel I'm only 15...and I wasn't the one who made you do this." Roxas frowned. "Just do what you do in school I mean it's only around the block how bad could it be to put in a little practice." Axel replied. "But I'm not in driving school." Roxas said nervously. "Get in the car Roxas!" Axel was getting frustrated. And Roxas scrambled into the driver's seat.

Quickly he buckled up and started the car and froze. "Um...ok" Roxas looked around the dashboard trying to figure out what to do. "Back it up Roxas." said Axel. "What?" Roxas looked to Axel. "Back. It up." He repeated. "Right. Back. It up...um.." Roxas hovered his hand above the shift gear trying to figure out which one put it in reverse. He wasn't sure which letter it was. "Back it up!" Axel repeated in a louder more threatening voice. "Backing up!" Roxas shouted in his freakout voice pulling the shift bar back and slamming his foot on the gas peddle.

"Backing up! Backing Up!" Roxas went in to shock with his foot stuck on the gas peddle. "Give me the wheel Roxas!" Axel was getting scared and tried to take the wheel from Roxas but his hands were glued to the wheel.

About a couple hours later the car slowed to a stop with Roxas still holding the wheel repeating 'backing up' over and over till the car was at a complete stop. "Well. You backed up. And you know what. I think we're out of gas. And you know what else. We're in the middle of NOWHERE!" Axel shouted.

"And you know what else else. I think the pizza is getting cold." Roxas added holding the pizza box. "And the pizza's cold! Not the pizza! Oh how could this get any worse!" Axel shouted sarcastically kicking the car and it sped off. "Well it looks like we're delivering it on foot!" Roxas smiled and the two started walking down the road.

They two had been walking for hours and Roxas was cheerfully carrying the pizza singing about it while Axel was slumped over in depression. "The Kingdom Heats pizza is the pizza for you and me~" Roxas started "The Kingdom Hearts pizza is the pizza-" "And my feet are killing me." Axel interrupted and tripped over landing face first in the dirt.

"Um Roxas...what are you doing?" Axel asked standing back up. Roxas was lying on the ground with his ear to the ground. "It's a really old pioneer trick I saw in a movie once." Roxas replied. "Roxas we don't have time for-" "Shhh! It's working." Roxas shushed him. "What?" Axel raised an eyebrow as Roxas jumped up and pointed down the road. "Truck! 16 wheels!" He said excitedly and handed Axel the pizza. "Now I can show you how the pioneers hitchhiked!"

Roxas went into the middle of the road and started doing some weird dance while Axel raised a eyebrow and made a mental note. _"don't let Roxas watch anymore T.V." _The truck driver continued down the road at a speed somewhere over the speed limit and jumped when he noticed Roxas. "Rashin frashin break dancers." Xigbar muttered to himself and honked his horn not slowing down.

"He's stopping he's- Roxas get out of the road!" Axel jumped at Roxas knocking them both off the road on the otherside and the truck zoomed passed them. And they continued their walk. It wasn't much later when a huge dust storm started kicking up and the two where fighting the wind. Axel was looking unhappy while Roxas continued to sing his little tune.

"The Kingdom Hearts Pizza is the pizza for you and me~ The Kingdom Hearts Pizza is the pizza with delivery(not sure what was really said here so I just put something in here that fit x3)~" While Roxas continued the song Axel was having difficulty seeing and mist of dust kept flying into his eyes and he repeatedly kept wiping it out. "The Kingdom Hearts Pizza is the pizza very ta-ay-sty~" Then the wind started picking up pushing poor little Roxas backwards with the pizza acting like a sail.

"Will you let go of that stupid pizza already." Axel was clearly annoyed. "I can't it's for the customer!" Roxas explained as he sailed by. "Who cares about the customer?" Axel added. "I do." Roxas flew by again. "Well I don't!" Axel yelled emphasizing 'don't' Roxas came by and everything froze. "Huh! Axel!" then everything started moving again.

"Let go of the pizza!" Axel repeated. "No!" Roxas shouted back as he ran Axel over knocking him off his feet then came back and bounced off his head. "Roxas! Let go of the pizza!" Axel pleaded as he grabbed onto Roxas' ankles and got dragged around with him. "No! It's for the customer!" Roxas said back in defense. "Rox-" Axel eyes went wide when he noticed the huge dust devil up ahead. "Let go of the pizza!" he pleaded more desperately. "NO!" Roxas shouted as they where dragged into the dust devil. "Roxas!" Axel was getting frustrated and looked down. "Oh...Hold on to the pizza!" The two where dragged up to the top and then spit out hundreds of feet in the air and started free falling towards the ground.

They were both screaming but the pizza box opened and the pizza itself became a parachute for Roxas while Axel fell face first to the ground. "Hey...where's the road? Wha- where's the road? " Axel looked around to see nothing but a dirt covered land scape covering every inch of the ground. "Where doomed! How are we gonna get home? Which way do we go! What do we do now! There's no road here!" Axel was freaking out while Roxas floated down and landed gracefully and the pizza fell back into the box and closed. "I think towns this way." Roxas announced pointing to the left the same way as the moss on the rock that was sitting on the ground.

"Oh don't tell me Jethro. The Pioneers?" Axel said annoyed. "Um hm. Moss always points toward civilization." Roxas said matter o' factly while pointing to the rock. "That way? That way there?" Axel asked pointing left and received a nod from Roxas. "So let me get this straight. You want us to go. _That_ way." Axel repeated emphasizing the word '_that_' "Yup." Roxas confirmed Axel. "Well then I'm going this." and Axel turned and went right. "huh! Ax! Wait!" Roxas tried to stop Axel. "Trust me. I know what I'm doing." Axel assured him and they went right instead of left.

So on their way Roxas decided to continue his song. "The Kingdom Hearts Pizza is the pizza absotivaly~" Then he started to do a rap version with random sound effects. And then a smooth Jazz version with a deeper voice((Since he's voiced by Jesse McCartney I figured it was possible xD)) and holding out the first syllable in hearts out a little longer. "The Kingdom Hearts yeah Pizza yeah is the pizza yeah for you and." - then his voice went higher as he held out the last word." Me~" "Roxas I think you need to get out more." Axel mumbled

The two had been walking for hours on end and both were ready to pass out but Roxas kept singing even though his voice sounded tired and dry. "Hearts...pizza...for..you...Kingdom...and a Hearts..and the piz and the zi..." Not much later Axel and Roxas where face down in the dirt tired, and hungry. "Roxas...we've gotta eat something." Axel pulled his head up to face Roxas and pulled his head up too. "I heard in times of heard ship...the pioneers ate tree bark." Roxas said grabbing a piece of tree bark. Axel grabbed it from him and started munching on it.

"No maybe it wasn't tree bark." Roxas put hand to his chin while Axel spit out the tree bark. "Maybe it was mud...no no grass." "Give me the pizza!" Axel shouted attempting to take the pizza. "Wait I remember now it was tree bark!" Roxas added quickly hugging the pizza. "Give it to me!" Axel demanded. "No! We promised it was for the customer." Roxas frowned.

"You're right. It's for the customer." Axel replied in his smooth voice. "ye- yeah." Roxas said cautiously. "Maybe we better check on it and see if it's ok." Axel suggested. "Well I guess." Roxas felt uneasy since he knew Axel really wanted to eat the pizza. "Just a peek." Axel crack open the box and Roxas quickly closed it. "Ok It's fine!" He said quickly hugging the pizza again.

"No I think I saw something!" Axel said and opened the pizza box all the way open so they could both get a good look at the pizza. "Nope I was wrong. Looks okay. Sure is a fine looking pizza." Axel continued his suave voice. "Yeah." Roxas agreed. "What's that is that the cheese?" he asked. "Yeah." Roxas answered. "And the pepperoni?" Axel continued. "Yeah." Roxas could feel his stomach rumbling. "Wait a second!" Roxas has a sudden realization moment and quickly closed the pizza. "I know what you're doing and I'm not letting you eat the pizza!"

"Give me the pizza Roxas!" Axel threatened. "No!" Roxas shouted back. "Don't make me take it by force.!" Axel pulled out his chakrams. "Get away!" Roxas pulled out the keyblade and ran from Axel who was throwing the chakrams at him. "Roxas!" Axel shouted. "No!" Roxas shouted back using the keyblade to block Axel's attacks. Axel soon grew tired of running in circles and stopped to catch his breathe while Roxas kept running around until he ran into him falling on his behind.

"Give me the pizza." Axel had an evil unhappy face. "And you're gonna hand it over one way or another." Roxas wasn't paying attention though. "Look! We're saved!" Roxas said excitedly.

"Sure we're saved. NOW GIVE ME SOME PIZZA" Axel went for the pizza. "No really Axel! We're saved! We're saved! We're saved! We're safe!" Roxas cheered and started to do a victory dance. "Say-eved~ say-eved~ say-eved~ say-eved~ Safe, safe, safe safe, safesafesafesafesafe~ Safesafesafesafesaaafe~ Safesafesafesafesaaafe~ Yeah we are safe!" He finished while Axel did a face palm and sighed.

"That's just a stupid boulder Roxas." Axel said in an obvious frustrated and annoyed voice. "It's not just a boulder Axel. *sniff* it's a rock. A rock." Roxas started to cry tears of joy while hugging the rock and then started climbing to the top of the 50 foot rock. "It's a big, beautiful, old, rock. Oh the Pioneers used to drive these babies for miles and it's in great shape!" Roxas was now seated on top of the huge boulder with the pizza while Axel stood on the ground and a hand on his forehead.

"Roxas will you forget the stupid pioneers! Have you noticed that there are none of them left. That's because they were lousy hitchhikers, ate tree bark, and took directions from allege And now you're trying to tell me that they thought they could drive-" The boulder had ran Axel over."...Rocks...hold on there Jethro!" Axel got up and ran after Roxas who was apparently driving the rock.

The two drove the rock all the way to their destination and and got off. "I can't wait to see the look on our customers face!" Roxas smiled and rang the door bell. A middle age man with short blonde hair had answered the door. He looked unamused and he was smoking. "What?" he asked. "Congratulations sir here is your Kingdom Hearts pizza!" Roxas grinned handing him the pizza.

"Yeah uh huh whatever..." Cid took the pizza from him. "So what was it 26?...wait...where's my drink?" "What drink?" Roxas looked confused. "My drink! My diet soda! Don't tell me you forgot my drink!" Cid shouted while Roxas scanned the receit for the order. _"pfft this guy needs to go on a diet" _Axel thought to himself "But you didn't order any..." "You expect me to eat think this piece of shit without a drink?" Cid raised his voice more causing Roxas to get tears in his eyes and his voice went quiet. "But...but..." "Haven't you ever once considered the customer! You call yourself a delivery boy? Well I ain't buying!" Cid through the pizza back at Roxas' face and slammed the door shut.

"Roxas?" Axel asked as Roxas came back with teary eyes then feel to the ground crying. "Rox?" Then Axel face went all serious and took the pizza up the the Cid's door and knocked really hard till Cid opened the door. "Oh god another one. Look I told your little friend their I ain't payin for that!" Cid shouted in Axel's face. "Well this one's on the house!" Axel lit the pizza on fire and threw it at Cid's face then walked back to Roxas who was sitting on the ground.

"*sniff* did he change his mind?" Roxas asked wiping tears from his eyes. "Sure did. Ate the whole thing in one bite." Axel replied. "No drink?" Roxas was instantly happy and stood back up. "Nope. Now take me home." Axel sighed and climbed back up the rock. "Are you kidding we have just enough time to get back to work!" Roxas smiled and put the rock in reverse stopping just in front of the restaurant. "Oh ho...My spleen..." Axel complained.

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The-FCI-Prez: Thank you fr taking thetime to read this! I hope you got a good laugh out of it and please review on your way out.

Let me know if there's any spelling or grammer errors so I can fix them and let me know if I should do another rewrite~ :3

Thank You!


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